"Madam... he has come!"

Last weekend I moved into my new house.  It turned out that Alfred’s moving out was not entirely coincidental to my arrival after all. He was moving to a new house that he had been building in the past few years. He told me that the build of this new town house had been a bit slow in recent months because he had been concentrating on finishing his holiday house at Lake Malawi first… The fact that I had arrived had sped up his move to his new house which he could finish now using the rent that VSO is paying him for my house. Not a bad deal, I should think. Especially since the union is paying for all the refurbishing that was done in the past two weeks. So no pity on the good man, who also removed all the plants from the garden and every single light bulb from the house when he left.

So on Saturday my lovely colleague Jackson came to pick me up at my temporary house with an enormous truck. We threw in my suitcases and a couple of bags with household equipment I had purchased in preparation for the move. Then it was off to the VSO depot to collect my furniture. VSO supplies everything one needs in a house: fridge, hotplate, beds, dining room table with chairs and no less than two overstuffed sofas with matching comfy chairs - Malawi style. This means that they are covered in such a tacky, burgundy velvety material that I can state with absolute confidence that the interior of my house now has the ability to move to tears third-rate brothel owners all over the world.

With the move to my permanent place I also had to find a security guard to protect my house, my stuff and myself while I am asleep. This is quite normal practice in Malawi, and not just for white people. Lots of Malawians have night guards depending on the area where they live and the security situation of their house. As white people - and therefore perceived to be extremely rich - volunteers are an attractive target for burglars. Moreover, there are special circumstances that can make a person extra vulnerable to a break-in during the night. Two senior policemen that delivered a security briefing to the new volunteers in our first week in Malawi warned us that some thieves go to witchdoctors to buy a special charm that puts prospective victims in such a deep sleep that they do not notice their house being emptied around them. For all these reasons VSO recommends that all volunteers hire a night watchman and they give us a special allowance to pay their salary. But how to go about finding such a person? A reliable, brave man prepared to maim and kill in defense of my burgundy furniture? I decided to ask James, one of the guards at my temporary lodgings for advice and he immediately suggested I interview his brother the following evening. The next morning at 6.30 I was barely awake when I heard a knock at the door and James booming in a deep grave voice: “Madam, the man you have been waiting for has come!!” Still half asleep I excitedly thought: ‘Oh wow! Can this really be happening? Richard Armitage here in Lilongwe? On my very doorstep?!’ But of course no such luck. Another kind of luck: James’ very nervous, but very polite and eager brother Mayeso.  After a short interview and some serious negotiations about working hours and salary I thought he would make a fine guard-annex-gardener and offered him the job. He was so grateful, it was painful to watch: “Oh Madam!” (Mind you, this was before he had even seen my furniture) “May God bless you with a long life! I am so happy I will be under a white woman now! I am so lucky that I have found a white employer to look after me and my family!” And indeed, in Malawi being an employer does not simply mean exchanging money for labour. It is almost like adopting a whole family. When someone gets sick you must help. If someone in the extended family dies you must contribute to the cost of the funeral. If Mayeso dies I must buy the coffin. And with an estimated HIV/Aids prevalence of about 15% these are not merely imaginary occurrences. As I am typing this I can hear him walking around my house, keeping watch. He seems to have a very nasty cough this evening… Just great…

PS: I have been so busy with adapting to a 1000 new, strange, exciting and practical things in my first few weeks that I have kept you waiting for this post longer than usual. I apologise and once I have settled in to my new life a bit more I will mend my ways… Also, some of you informed me that Blogger is not allowing anyone to post comments. I do not know why this is and I will definitely look into it because I am missing them too!